There I was sitting in a too big house with a too small family, holding my head in my hands wondering about my American dream. Where was my hope for a healthy and happy marriage for my sons? How would the demise of a two parent home change the future course of life for myself and my sons?
In the first few waking moments of my broken truth, the reality challenged my beliefs, my future, my dreams for my sons and left uncertainty and a new normal in its place. A normal that I wasn’t ready to embrace as the daunting task of raising two teenage sons loomed big. Plagued by self-doubt and a lack of confidence in my skill set as a woman raising soon to be men, I grasped at whatever truth I could find. Truth in watching the success of those around me, leaning on my brothers to lead the way as mentors and men willing to lead men, and eventually relying on God to teach me all about a Father’s love.
God met me at the intersection of brokenness and hope and showed me the way. God also led my sons to reach out and lead me. You see…my sons reached out to God and embraced His promises as I was still finding my way. My sons, considered teenagers by age, became men because they accepted Christ as their Father. Nothing remained the same because the Father of all welcomed two new sons into His fold as His own children. Their example led me to God and in the embracing of allowing His story to become mine, I learned how to handle this new life.
As I began the journey to the life of a single parent, I became a woman who learned that raising two sons was all about letting God become the leader. A leader who would guide and direct my path, a leader who would teach me how to let go of my misconceptions of parenting and someone to show me that love looks like allowing our Heavenly Father to guide our lives through all the messiness and uncertainty. My sons needed a mom who would admit that she couldn’t do this alone because several years into my parting of ways with my sons’ dad, they lost their father when he passed away. I truly was a single mom and until I was able to step back and admit that I could not do this alone, my journey would be filled with uncertainty.
The Father of all found me in the kitchen on that day in September of 2005 and embraced my messiness right there at the kitchen table with all the love and strength I would need to move from brokenness to wholeness.
God sat with me and assured me with His promises such as…
Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:8
“There is hope for your future,” says the Lord.
“Your children will come again to their own land. Jeremiah 31:17
The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. 2 Thessalonians 2:16
God found me in 2005, unsure and broken. A too big house with a too small family turned into…
…a story of redemption, wholeness and a new life in Christ.
Mary Geisen is mom of two grown sons, an elementary teacher and a woman seeking God in the ordinary routines of life. Mary shares her grace journey at her blog, Passage Through Grace.
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