What does it take to discover you are worth much to God?
For me, it took my lifestyle to be turned upside down and a relocation of 3,000 miles from the UK to the USA.
The blue line appeared instantly, leaving no room for doubt. “You’re having a baby,” I smiled to myself. I quickly picked up the phone and dialed my husband’s number. “I’m pregnant.” I blurted out. I stood in the bathroom of our recently purchased Edwardian home in south London. He sat in an office, somewhere in a town outside Boston, Massachusetts.
There was a pause on the other end of the phone. “Did he need time to process my news?” I wondered. The struggle had not been to get pregnant. The challenge had been determining when to take a break in my career to start a family.
I adored my work in the magazine publishing industry. I loved my job and the prestige of working for the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). I had an expense account, a company car, and a fully funded place to earn my MBA. I worked hard but I played hard, too—attending magazine launch parties held in well-known London landmarks, going to awards nights with television celebrities, and spending evenings with friends.
Well established in my career, I felt able to take a short break to have a baby. After a full year of hunting, my husband and I had purchased the perfect home in which to raise a family.
“That’s great,” my husband replied excitedly but I sensed a hesitation in his voice. “I was about to call you,” he continued, “I have some news, too. The company wants me to relocate to the States.”
Two potentially life-changing events were exchanged in one short conversation.
I’ve always enjoyed adventure but at that moment, whether it was my hormones or not, my nesting instincts kicked in. I had no desire to be uprooted to a strange place where I knew no one, let alone raise my child there.
A year later I sat on the floor of our rented apartment in Lexington, Massachusetts. My five-month old baby girl napped in the travel cot in front of me. Tears fell silently down my cheeks. Tears fell often and regularly those days. I wanted to scream. I was lonely. I was miserable. I mourned for the life I had lost—my work, my friends, my home, and my family across the ocean. I didn’t know where to turn.
Then I remembered God—my heavenly Father who I had gradually left out of my London life.
“Help me,” I implored with my whole being.
Immediately, God responded. A sense of peace washed over me. God heard my simple prayer.
Slowly, life began to change. A neighbor invited me to church. A counselor helped me work though the enormous changes in my life. But most of all, I began to understand God’s love for me.
God had been calling my name for years. But, I ignored him. Too many other things caught my attention. Now, without them to distract me, I looked to him.
I could have decided God had ruined my life, and resented him for it. Instead, I understood God’s amazing love for me.
All day long, I have held out my hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations. Isaiah 65:2
This is love. God never gives up, always pursuing. God cares too much to let us waste our lives on futile pursuits.
My plans were good but God had better plans:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
God longs for us to have a life that includes him, not excludes him. If only we will turn to him.
Maybe your life has turned out different from your plans. How does that tempt you to question whether God loves you? How do his plans show that you are worth much to God?
Rachel Britton is an author, blogger and speaker. Raised on the east coast of England, Rachel now lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three children. Rachel is passionate about helping women become healthier in their relationship with God, with others, and with themselves, and to thrive from the inside out. You can find out more about Rachel at www.rachelbritton.com and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
This is the 47th post in Testimony Tuesday: Women who inspire. Click HERE to read all of the other posts in this series. Now it’s your turn to link up your story of how God is working in your life. ________________________________________________________________________________________
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